Another Modern Modest Proposal: Convert to Islam to Make Yourself Safer!

(Before sending me any hate mail or posting flame comments, kindly read about the original Modest Proposal.)

It seems that there are many people who are willing to sacrifice their own liberty to make themselves safer from terrorists. I'm not here to judge people for having values that are different from mine, but I did have an idea. Why not go all the way and convert to Islam so that terrorists won't want to blow you up?

Let's face it, the TSA simply will not do what it takes to make you completely safe on an airplane. I don't doubt the sincerity of the intent of these civil servants, but how do they expect to keep bombs off the plane if they aren't checking body cavities? But assuming that Al Qaeda is sincere in its intentions, a plane full of innocent Muslims will do more to deter a suicide bomber than any federal official.

Islam will make you safer on the ground as well. Any state that adopts sharia law can dramatically reduce drunk driving overnight. You don't hear about drunks running over little kids in the streets of Saudi Arabia. Why do some people put the First Amendment over the safety of our children?

Ban on perfume at Northrup?

A mother wants Northrup High School to ban perfume. She insists that her son is allergic to freshly sprayed perfume. Some allergists say that this isn't possible, but it still could be an asthmatic reaction. Whatever it is, let's assume for the sake of argument that there is a causal relationship between high concentrations of perfume and respiratory distress in this particular boy. Students could still be allowed to wear modest amounts of perfume, as long as they didn't spray it in the same room as the boy. However, it should be explained to the students that deliberately trying to cause breathing problems by spraying perfume could be construed as battery or even attempted murder, depending on the mood of the county prosecutor.

I wonder if Dr Crawford is going to push for a ban on perfume in private clubs.

What does TSA stand for?

TSA=Touch Some Ass?

The TSA has started making airline passengers go through body scanners that see through clothing. Even if you are willing to go through this in order to feel safer, you should still understand that this will cause the airline industry to lose a lot of business. Body scanners and enhanced pat downs are not going to be tolerated by non-exhibitionists. People are going on trips by car that they would have previously taken by plane.

You are all adult enough to know that it is more dangerous to drive than to fly, so we can expect a rise in highway deaths as a result of these new humiliating procedures. Wasn't the whole point to save lives?

Veterans Day

Go hug a veteran today, if he's into that sort of thing.

Another dumb idea for a law

The Indiana Association of Beverage Retailers is seeking a statewide ban on alcoholic energy drinks. The reason they cite is that caffeine masks some of the effects of alcohol, and young people are over-consuming as a result.

This particular effort to protect idiots from their own stupidity is a exercise in futility. Anyone with ID can still buy a case of beer, and anyone at all can still buy caffeinated products. You can take them home and mix them into a glass. If you don't have any clean glasses, you can drink one after the other and have both chemicals in your bloodstream at the same time.

Vote!

Be sure to vote on Tuesday. On Wednesday, be sure to get screened for colon cancer. Having smoke blown up your ass all year can't be very healthy.